Down to Earth
by Moshigami
Summary: In the middle of the war against the Wandereich, Shunsui decides they need reinforcements. The experiment is a success, but the completion comes a few years after the war. Join the Arrancar in their daily lives as they survive as humans under the law of their former enemies. Next up: Starrk! Swimming in money!
1. Introduction

**This was originally an idea I got after wondering if Barragan's fraccion do any chores…**

**The mood is a little serious but it will descend into crack in subsequent chappies~**

**Don't own these wonderful people and spoilers alert!**

* * *

Walking briskly down the hallway, First Division Lieutenant Nanao Ise finally caught sight of the captain's office. She noted how much bigger the first division barracks were than the eighth. Gently pushing open her captain's door, she was only met by an unyielding darkness and the smell of alcohol. Sighing, she switched the lights on only to notice a palm-sized scrap of paper on the desk weighed down by a half-empty bottle of sake. Stomping over, she expected her idiot captain to have left with some girl or gone out drinking. Maybe the diligence and the drive to win had worn off for a while. They could barely afford it, anyway; the war against the Wandereich was as tense as it was ever going to be. The recent deaths of some of the captains had made it worse. Snatching the piece of paper up quickly enough as so not to topple the bottle, she read the message and looked nothing short of horrified.

_"Getting reinforcements in the World of the Living. Will be back soon."_

Just as she had processed the meaning of the message, thoughts intensely swirled around her head.

_"Reinforcements? Does he mean…"_

Her fellow lieutenant opened the door fully. His grave expression meant he had noticed their captain's absence also. Where could he be in this time of intense war?

* * *

Captain-General Shunsui Kyoraku sneezed, throwing his hell butterfly off course. His beloved Nanao-chan had probably found the message he left. Snapping out of his brief reverie, he recalled the purpose of his sudden leave ("No, Shunsui! It's not to perv on those busty girls that live there!"). He had decided to take a huge risk to bring their former enemies back to life, but he had witnessed how powerful they could be…

…and power was what they needed in this war. Aizen had refused to fight for them, so he remained restrained under the first division barracks. Tia Harribel and her fraccion were out of the question, as they were imprisoned in their own home, Hueco Mundo, which was claimed by the Wandereich. Harribel had tried to fight them, to no avail. Her failure had demonstrated that numbers were crucial, and numbers were what he was getting.

The Senkaimon opened at his destination, a shop front with a sign reading "Urahara Shoten". The front door opened to reveal a smirking blonde with a striped hat covering his eyes. "I didn't expect you to come so late, Shunsui! You said you had something important to ask of me; do come in." Shunsui nodded his head in acknowledgement before allowing himself in. Closing the door, he heard a loud meow coming from a large black cat sitting on the low table in the middle of the room. "Your visit is to do with the war, correct?" The cat walked with an agile gait towards the visitor. Shunsui nodded. "I've come to as Kisuke a favour, Yoruichi-san; a very big favour in fact. It's so important that the outcome of the war balances on this." Yoruichi glanced back at Urahara, who was sitting tensely despite the smile plastered on his face. She sighed. "It's definitely important all right; he actually cleaned up that mess of a lab. What did you need anyway?" Shunsui reached into his pockets and produced a folded piece of white paper, not unlike the one he left for his lieutenants. Noticing the paper was for him, Urahara immediately opened it to find a list of names:

_Coyote Starrk  
Lilynette Gingerbuck  
Barragan Louisenbairn  
Charlotte Chulhornne  
Findorr Calius  
Abirama Redder  
Ggio Vega  
Choe Neng P…_

"We need these people brought back. I don't care how you do it; we need them for victory. We are in our most intense part of war and Captain Unohana's death has been a big blow to us. Will you do this for us, Kisuke Urahara? Captain Kurotsuchi is busy with other things; you're the only person I can turn to. The Arrancars were formerly our enemies, but desperate times call for desperate measures." Shunsui wore an uncharacteristically serious expression. All light had gone from his eyes to be replaced by grey stone. Urahara's eyes widened seeing the usually carefree captain with such a look on his face. Abruptly rising from his place at the table, his eyes met Shunsui's. "I'll do it."

And with that, he left the table, paper in hand.

* * *

_After the war…_

Urahara regrated saying that one sentence for… how long now? Five, ten years? The shinigami had barely won the war, and the lasting peace was astounding. For Urahara, though, this experiment was not one he could easily abort, nor one he could bear to abort. This was a revolutionary technology that he, and he alone had designed. The Wandereich were defeated and forever in their grave. The captains had gone back to their usual way of life, and Aizen was still safely locked up. Glancing at one of his numerous pods, a human version of Lilynette had finished forming, a shell for the deceased spirit to occupy once again.

Phase two of his experiment could start.

Typing a password into his newly-developed computer, various graphs and statistics appeared on the screen; they were something only he could understand. The radar next to it glowed blue, sending out signals for the deceased girl's spirit. Arrancars did not ascend into Soul Society like Hollows; instead, they were sent into limbo, with no hope nor anywhere to go. That was the price of using the Hogyoku. They could only contemplate their lives, until now.

* * *

"So what do you want us here for?" A young green-haired girl glared at Urahara, her grown partner dozing peacefully on the tiles. "Well," Urahara scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, "You were supposed to help in the war against the Wandereich, but you guys came a few years too late. The war is over and that Quincy kid's still as single as a lost earring. So I decided to propose a deal." Aaroniero, who had been revived as Kaien, raised an oh-so-perfect eyebrow. "What deal?" Urahara's smile only widened. "A deal that allows you to go about human lives. You stay out of trouble and in our service," gesturing to the random Soul Society poster, "and we will find a way to allow you into Soul Society at your death. I've heard bad things about limbo… and Hell," glancing at Aaroniero and Szayel, "So this is a deal tipped heavily into your favour. Are you willing to reduce yourselves to humans for a while?" Starrk rose from his place on the floor and rubbed his eyes. "All in favour raise your hands." All of the gathered complied. "Hey, what made you the leader?" Lilynette kicked Starrk in the back, causing him to lose his balance and turn into a mess on the floor. "Doesn't matter, everyone obeyed me." A cough from Urahara turned their attention back to him. "Accommodation will be arranged for you, so do you want to see it?" The Arrancars followed warily behind him, unsure of their future…

* * *

**How was it? Slightly strange, but limbo had to exist for the storyline to work. I'm probably going to write a LOT about Barragan and his fraccion (maybe a Barragan crack romance) but the Arrancars are going to get jobs, go to school (*cough*Lilynette*cough*) and Starrky just MIGHT become the CEO of a famous company…**

**Coming up next:  
Bumbler Muffin!?  
Starrk and Lilynette are on a roll as Lily goes to school, Starrk actually gets a job and becomes famous in the process!**

**Reviews are appreciated and flames will be used to burn Bya-kun's boxers! Toodles~**

**PS I know NOTHING about the latest arc… Ironic I'm writing about it, right?**

**PPS Every time I glimpse the second character book, I always think of Tesla even though Shinji's on the cover…**


	2. Bumbler Muffin?

**Wow. Just wow. I'm tired.**

**Don't own anyone else's plot babies except for mine!**

* * *

The first thing Starrk did after flipping on the light was plant himself on the couch. It was soft, and if he fell off it would be onto shaggy carpet. Lilynette did a proper inspection: the beds were bouncy; the pantry and fridge were chock full of food and they had proper entertainment. Claiming the spot just in front of Starrk on the carpet, she became engrossed in three rounds of Tekken before deciding she would rather Starrk on his bed instead, so she could use the couch. Eyeing an airhorn sitting on the dining table, she grabbed it and honked it into Starrk's ear. Taking a moment to take in the situation, Starrk then proceeded to make his way upstairs. He could lock out Lilynette if need be.

Starrk's mouth dropped in awe as he took in the abundance of pillows, the cloud-soft mattress and the peace of the bedroom. Moreover, it was **his**. That Urahara guy was right about the accommodation, after all. Wondering how much effort Urahara had put into looking after them, Starrk noticed a folded piece of paper that stood out from the grey of the covers. Tentatively opening it, he found a not so comfortable message:

_Hi Starrky, _(Starrk's eye twitched in irritation)

_I spent a lot of time, money and effort making your place and everybody else's, so the only thing you can come to me for now is advice. According to human laws, Lilynette has to be sent to school. I've recommended her to a prestigious school in the next suburb called St George's College. The fees aren't too bad, but if you're gonna pay them you'll have to get a job._(Starrk's face instantly fell)_ Hey, at least she'll be away from you five days a week for six hours a day, or more if she does after school clubs and stuff. Anyway, I'm sure there'll be a job just waiting for a lazy bum like you!_

_Everyone else is living in the vicinity, but don't depend on them too much, alright? Don't forget to be nice to your neighbours!_

_Love from your local perverted shopkeeper,_

_Kisuke Urahara_

_Urahara Shoten_

_PS You all have to pay me back, you know._

Feeling an uncharacteristic sense of vigour, Starrk bolted down the steps and flipped through the newspaper on the kitchen bench. This thing about "money"… it was driving him. He never had felt this before, but this was an overwhelming sense of thirst that he certainly could not resist.

Even though there were multiple pages of jobs, only one stood out.

_Staff shortage_

_Enquire at Bumbler Muffin Bed Company_

"Hmm… looks like a lazy enough job. Plus, they made my bed and I'm loving it already," Starrk turned to Lilynette,"Lily! Hurry up, we're going out!" Lilynette looked up groggily from her tenth round of Tekken. "Since when were you in such a hurry? I don't wanna get up, anyway!" She flopped back down onto her original position on the couch. Starrk, sighing, grabbed a leather jacket hanging on the door. "Fine, I'll go myself. Look after the house, alright?" A grunt signalled her understanding. Closing the door behind him, the cool autumn breeze hit him square in the face. Starting down the pavement, his grey eyes looked up at the browning trees.

What had he been missing out on all this time?

* * *

Bumbler Muffin stood out like a wolf in a herd of sheep. It towered over the houses around it, reminding Starrk of Aizen's throne room in Las Noches. Thank goodness the bastard was still locked up in the Sereitei. The unfamiliar smell of luxury entered his nose as he walked into the swanky establishment. Not a bed in sight. An attractive receptionist shyly approached him. "Were you here to enquire about our advertisement in the newspaper? May I take you to our CEO's office?" Starrk glanced sideways towards her before nodding slightly. "Yeah, and if that's how it works here, go for it." Blushing immensely, the receptionist led him into an elevator, up five flights of stairs and through countless hallways before stopping outside a pair of heavy oak doors. Starrk noticed how much more gold-gilded and fancy this part of the building was. Signalling for him to wait outside, the receptionist hesitantly opened the doors and entered the office. After about two minutes, she poked her head out of the door and beckoned for him to come in. Blinded by the pure swankiness of the office, he still found his way into the seat opposite from the CEO of Bumbler Muffin.

The CEO extended his hand, which Starrk shook. "Good afternoon, I see Lara brought you here in one piece. I'm Bumbler Muffin, the CEO of this wonderful company. There is nothing better than having a company named after yourself, is there?" Muffin let off a roaring laugh before returning his gaze to Starrk. "What brings you here, my good man? Lara, get us some coffee!" 'Lara' complied, her blue eyes wide in panic. "Lara's my secretary. She was so anxious to wait for someone who wants to work here. Do you want to introduce yourself?" Starrk nodded. "The name's Coyote Starrk. I'm lazy, and the only reason I'm here is to earn money to send my, um, sister to school. Anyway, if you're the CEO of a bed company, shouldn't there be a bed in here? Isn't that what you're supposed to stand for? Plus, you guys made my bed and it could use some improvements. It's soft, but it's so soft you can't sleep." That last bit was a lie, but it definitely got to Bumbler Muffin. He grabbed Starrk by the shoulders, leaning over the desk. "Starrk, son, I've owned this company for 50 years and you've been the only one to understand what this company needs. I know it's sudden, but will you take over this company for me? I've needed a holiday for a long time now. It is very successful, and it needs another lazy leader to prosper even more. Do you accept my offer?" Starrk nodded rapidly, sweating from the man's unyielding grip.

* * *

"Lilynette! Guess what?" Lilynette had occupied herself with snacking on some biscuits she found in the pantry. Looking up, she found Starrk dropping a bag from Mark and Spencer's along with what looked like a paycheque onto the kitchen bench. She did the best spit take she could with the crumbs in her mouth. Pinching herself, she read the cheque again.

_One million dollars._

"What sort of job did you get, Starrk!? This is no amount for a first paycheque! Did you, like, become a CEO of some – oh?" Lilynette noticed a professional looking badge being shoved in her face.

_Coyote Starrk, CEO  
Bumbler Muffin Bed Company_

"How the hell did that happen?" Lilynette was ready for anything. "Stuff happened. Apparently they wanted a lazy leader, and I was Primera, after all. I got the job instantly. Anyway," Starrk produced a letter he had found in the mailbox outside. "This is about you going to school." Lilynette read the letter, her pink eyes widening more and more as it went on.

_Dear Mr Starrk,_

_We have read the application Mr Urahara put in for you and I must say I am very impressed with your sister Lilynette. We would be glad to offer a partial scholarship for her, which is a 50% discount off tuition fees. For this scholarship, it is required that she come and have an interview at this time…_

_…Regards,_

_Geoff Smith  
Headmaster_

"I hope Urahara dies. I don't want to interact with stupid humans! I'm gonna have to act all nice and stuff! And also, I have to listen to you, stupid Starrk!" Lilynette repeatedly punched Starrk in the stomach until he was groaning on the floor. Clutching at his stomach, Starrk groped his way to the couch, after which he climbed on and glared at Lilynette. A quick rap on the door interrupted their staring contest. Lilynette hesitantly opened the door to reveal…

… Urahara. "What did you say about me dying now?" He easily caught the resulting kick. "STALKER!" Urahara lifted her upside-down until they were face-to-face. "Now now, I came just to help you out with this upcoming interview," he dropped Lilynette, "and to check out how you liked my handiwork. Shame Yoru-chan isn't here to see this. She would be so proud of me~" Urahara had a slight nosebleed which even Starrk (with his sharp eyes) almost failed to notice. Urahara cleared his throat, while Starrk went outside to drag a struggling Lilynette in. Slamming the door shut, Starrk deposited Lilynette on the carpet before turning to face their visitor. "What do you mean, "help"? We were going to be fine on our own… wait… zzz…" Starrk started drooling onto the kitchen tiles, asleep on the floor. "I guess it's just me and you, huh?" Urahara remarked. Lilynette kicked him in the shin as her only response.

* * *

"You're right, the uniform is nice… but DO I HAVE TO WEAR A SKIRT!?" Lilynette liked wearing something with colour for once; Hueco Mundo was black and white compared to the World of the Living. The only thing that pissed her off was this knee-length, navy-blue _thing_ that deserved to go die in a hole… if skirts could die. "Err… yes. That means you can't randomly kick people, at least if you value your decency." Urahara sighed in relief; he didn't want any more blows on him. How did Starrk handle this kid?

Starrk knocked on the wall beside the open door, having just woken up and wondering what the ruckus upstairs was. "I'm expecting you to keep that uniform clean, Lily. I'm not going to be cleaning it for you, so save yourself some trouble. You know how to use the washing machine so I'm expecting it to be spotless every day before I go to work." Urahara's head jerked towards Starrk's direction. "You got a job? Already?" Starrk just nodded in reply. "Yeah… I'm the new CEO of Bumbler Muffin. I start work Monday." Urahara blinked before resuming his normal expression. He told Starrk to get a job, but not **that** quickly… "You're such a lucky dog – er… duck, Starrky. So that's how you got by in Las Noches, eh?" Starrk shrugged. "More or less. Apart from my rank, of course."

_"Wow… who'd expect any less from a Primera?"_

* * *

"That's all, Lilynette. But, the key word is to **behave**. Behave as if you're independent, but you have never ever thought a single bad thought in your entire life." Urahara had (against their will) accompanied Lilynette and Starrk to their interview with Mr Smith.

_"With this idiot here, I wonder how our interview will go…"_ Lilynette only saw Urahara as a bad omen, but was she right?

* * *

**Woot! Starrk's a lucky ducky, isn't he? Urahara's being the troll he is, but he's really just trying to help, ne? The Soul Society characters won't be making much of an appearance in this, but they may appear in some very embarrassing situations. Aizen is not on my plans for this story right now, but he will have a dose of his own medicine~ (Bumbler Muffin=Dundler Miffin) I've just realised, this seems like a series of vignettes than a continuous, flowing plot line. But, that's probably just me.**

**Does our interview end in success? Or would you rather see how Barragan and his (hawt) fraccion are doing? Reviews are appreciated, but flames shall be used to set fire to Yumichika's hair!**

**Viva la fanfiction. Please read my other Bleach stories!**


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